


If I Can Live Through This, I Can Do Anything

by Ellienerd14



Category: I Was Born for This - Alice Oseman
Genre: Alternate Universe - Youtubers, Angels famous, F/F, F/M, Jimmys a fanboy, M/M, reverse au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 11:47:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16263572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellienerd14/pseuds/Ellienerd14
Summary: Jimmy has been admiring the upbeat, happy videos of youtuber Angel Cakes for as long as she has been posting them. For him, there's something comforting in pretending she's his real friend. She's smart, funny and optimistic - the opposite of him.But, when his chance to meet Angel becomes chaotic, he finds himself faced with a scared young woman, who may be more like him then he ever thought.





	If I Can Live Through This, I Can Do Anything

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna know the vibe of video I imagine Angel having, [watch some of these!](https://www.youtube.com/user/ClickForTaz)

  **roasting my best friends ex for 12 minutes (12:40)**

 [A pair of young woman sit on a bed, smiling gleefully as Angel holds up a phone. Both are wearing pyjamas. Juliet is holding popcorn.

 Angel barely holds back laughter as she reads her phone. “Okay, number six… he had a weird obsession with the beatles because he’s,” she loses control, leaning into Juliet’s shoulder, “okay, okay. He said he liked the ‘alternativeness’ of the band. That they’re not a fangirl’s dream. Like boy-“

 Juliet wheezes, “oh my God, Angel stop!”]

**Posted by: angel cakes**

**505,124 views**

**22K Likes**

**299 Dislikes**

 

* * *

 

 

I can’t remember the first time I watched her videos. But it must have been years ago now. For me, Angel has been as intertwined in my life as my real friends are.

She doesn’t know this yet, because lives in a bookmarked tab on my laptop, and I’m too anxious to tweet her. (I couldn’t find a way to put how much I loved her videos - her laugh, her openness on mental health and hate mail and her life - into under three hundred characters.)

Maybe I’m making it sound like I’m in love with her. But it’s not like that. (Not even close.)

But, this story is about the week I met Angel. About everything that happened that build up to the craziest day of my life.

It started with a much younger Jimmy, finding a bright and optimistic girl laughing into a laptop camera, year ago.

But really, it starts with Rowan and Lister and my nineteenth birthday.

 

* * *

 

I was just off the phone with my Grandad when they invited themselves into my flat. Both of them were loaded with Asda bags and smiling, so I could guess what was happening.

“Can I borrow a charger?” Rowan asked, disappearing into the kitchen before I could answer anyway.

“I think he means ‘Happy Birthday’,” Lister teased. He sat down on the sofa next to me, checking Rowan really was gone before sneaking a kiss from me. (That’s not an important detail I guess. But it was sweet.)

“Thanks,” I muttered. I was probably blushing at the time too because we were a new couple at that point. It was the first birthday kiss from Lister.

I hope it’s not the last.

“Unlucky it’s on a Monday though,” he continued. He was shamelessly curled up on me at that point. Lister was basically a cat, including deciding that when he wanted your affection, he wouldn’t move from a warm spot on your lap.

“I don’t mind.”

“Don’t worry Jim,” he said cheerfully, “I wouldn’t let the cutest music studies student here spend his birthday without me.”

“I also study here,” Rowan had shouted.

“But you’re not as cute!”

“Stop flirting!” Rowan called to us.

We continued to flirt, Lister looking up at me with exaggerated endearment, shamelessly as usual, whilst Rowan grumbled in the kitchen.

He was distracting me, I realised, when Rowan came out with a birthday cake, complete with sparklers and and nineteen rainbow striped candles. They sang together, our mashed-up version of ‘Happy Birthday Jimmy’, a song five years old and weirdly charming.

The cake was shaped like a guitar, so it was probably meant for little kids. However, university students (or in Lister’s case, H&V employees) were basically like children. Rowan cut up thick slices and we lay on the floor of my flat around his laptop, loading up Angel’s weekly livestreams.

I just to watch every single one religiously. Now, I don’t have time. University was too consuming, too much, too stressful. I feel like I’ve failed her, my guardian angel, because I split up her videos to fit it during breakfast, or later at night, when I’m wide awake. But with the latter, it’s her old videos I find much more comforting.

I check my phone’s notification.

 

>   **angel cakes (✿ ^‿^) | ✔️ | @Angel_rahimi_yt**
> 
> **1 minute ago**
> 
> **Hey dudes! Live stream in 5 minutes with my girls @bliss-fully & @julietvlogs x**

 

In the meantime, Rowan and Lister throw cake crumbs at each other whilst an old Fall Out Boy song steeps through my adjoining wall to my neighbour. I hum to it, ducking as a stray crumb comes my way. So childish.

It was just like the old times.

 

* * *

 

I can’t remember what the live stream was about. Maybe her latest video. Or some university stories - we were both in our first year then, but I was studying Music Theory close to home and Angel was studying Psychology in London.

The whole content of her stream was lost as soon as she got to the end. Angel held up her phone, telling us about her planned uploads. Twice a week: impressive for a student.

“This Friday I’ll be posting my long awaited collab with Tara and Darcy from ‘Band Chicks’’ and tomorrow’s video is a surprise, but one that includes me and Bliss making bad decisions.” (I’ve rewatched this part over and over, because I know what’s coming next.)

Bliss cheers in the background. “Preach, Cool Girl!”

“Finally, I want to wish a happy birthday to Jimmy Kaga-Ricci-“ I spluttered, half choking on my icing, half forgetting to breathe, “-your boyfriend send me some of the cutest messages about your reactions to my videos. It was adorable, my dude, and I’m very grateful you find me entertaining. I’m sure you’re watching, so have a great day!”

There’s more she said after that, about her channel and social media and self care. But I was crying happy tears and Rowan had shut the laptop.

“Surprise?” Lister offered, seemingly taken back, “too much?” He whispered unsubtly to Rowan.

“Amazing,” I said, “I love- wow, amazing.”

Lister blushed.

“How did you even manage to do this?”

“He annoyed her,” Rowan answered.

“No,” he protested, “she liked me. Here,” Lister shows me his phone, opening Twitter up and showing a series of direct messages between him and Angel.

 

**(17th August 2018)**

**Listy birb | @ListerBird98**

> **(19:32) Hey angel I know there’s a chance you wouldn’t see this but my bf is a big fan of yours**
> 
> **[screenshot137368]**
> 
> **[screenshot456223]**
> 
> **[screenshot332230]**
> 
> **And his 19th birthday is coming up and happens to be on your live stream day anyway could you maybe give him a shout out or something?**

**angel cakes (✿ ^‿^) | @Angel_rahimi_yt**

> **(22:09) hey back Lister! (what a cool name!)**
> 
> **your bf sounds really sweet and I’m super flattered!**
> 
> **what’s his name?**

**Listy birb | @ListerBird98**

> **(22:14) He is the damn cutest I’ve been in love with him forever**
> 
> **His name is Jimmy Kaga-Ricci and his birthday is next Monday**
> 
> **Usually I wouldn’t bother you but I’m always annoying, might as well use it to make him happy**

**angel cakes (✿ ^‿^) | @Angel_rahimi_yt**

> **(22:16) omg no youee not annoying**
> 
> ***youre**
> 
> **it’s a sweet thing you’re doing for him!**

**Listy birb | @ListerBird98**

> **(22:18) Jim means a lot to me**
> 
> **He’s so sweet and he’s a little anxious but he watches your videos on bad days**
> 
> **He’s watching one rn!**
> 
> **[image23865]**

**angel cakes (✿ ^‿^) | @Angel_rahimi_yt**

> **(22:21) I wanna wrap him in a blanket omg**
> 
> **I’ll do a shoutout no problem!**
> 
> **thanks so much for getting in touch**
> 
> **most people who DM me are like gross haters or want to flirt**

**Listy birb | @ListerBird98**

> **(22:25) That sucks I’m sorry**
> 
> **No blankets in the library but I’ll wrap him in my arms**

**angel cakes (✿ ^‿^) | @Angel_rahimi_yt**

> **(22:26) I’m melting :,)**

 

I pulled him in for a kiss then, even though I was usually shy about initiating things, and Rowan had the tact to hold back his snark.

“Thanks.”

“We haven’t even done presents yet,” Rowan said, slightly mischievously.

“Guys,” I complained, even if I was a little excited.

Lister put his hands over my eyes whilst Rowan rustled around his bag.

“No peeking,” Lister said, “trust us Jimmy.”

When he did let go, followed by an affection kiss on the top of my head, I was looking at a printed document. It wasn’t what I was expecting, but the word on the top caught my eye: **OSECON 2018.**

Three tickets for general admission. And one meet and greet ticket for Angel.

_“Surprise!”_

**Author's Note:**

> This au is my take on what things would be different if they were reversed. Angel's such a lovely character, so I could see her being a really fun Youtuber who Jimmy admires. 
> 
> At the con itself, we'll get to see some of the other Oseman verse characters, so if you have any suggestions on what kinds of videos they do, let me know. Or, if you want to cameo as a fan Jimmy meets, or who tweets about the con, let me know! 
> 
> Please let me know what you think of this! 
> 
> (Say hi on Twitter: @ellienerd14 or tumblr: @bazwillendinflames)


End file.
